Create a Happy 'Tude

Tips and Resources for Keeping a Healthy, Happy, Prosperous Attitude


Spiritual Coaching Center
November 2004, Issue No. 1

Table of Contents
  • Check in
  • Practicing Gratitude
  • Appreciate Anything
  • Time Out Tip
  • Partner Resource
  • About Us
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    .
    Gratitude
    "If the only prayer you ever said was 'Thank You,' that would be enough." - Meister Eckhart

    Check In

    Greetings! Welcome to the first issue of Create a Happy 'Tude.

    I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately - gratitude for my friends and family, for the people in my past who have helped to shape me into the person I am today, and for the wonderful students, clients, friends and associates who fill my life right now.... Thank you, thank you, thank you for the honor of being a part of your life! May your days be filled with joy and fulfillment, peace and abundance as we begin this holiday season.

    Happy 'thank you' giving! Enjoy the rest of the issue!

    - Becky



    Practicing Gratitude

    Thank you - The two most powerful words in our language. But they are also the most difficult words to say at times - at least, and really mean them.

    As a child, my mother made me write thank you notes to people for my birthday and Christmas gifts. I hated it! Being a "cut to the chase" kind of person even back then, trying to come up with that personalized second sentence after "Thank you so much for the gift" was sheer torture!

    Also, being very shy as a child, learning to say 'thank you' after receiving a personal complement was another uphill climb. I still have trouble with that one - at least saying 'thank you' and really meaning it.

    I believe gratitude is a learned skill - one that takes daily practice to develop to its full potential. For many of us, gratitude comes in stages:

    Enforced Gratitude - This is when we say 'thank you' because someone is making us or because we're supposed to. The words, if spoken at all, are usually backed by a lot of resistance and sometimes even anger.

    Habit Gratitude - When our "resistance" has broken down and saying 'thank you' is now a habit. However, the words are still hollow. There may be a lack of sincerity underneath the words. Or it may be that we really don't mean them, thinking that we don't deserve the complement or the gift.

    Heart Gratitude - This stage of gratitude is filled with feelings of true appreciation. To 'appreciate' means to express approval and admiration, enjoyment and pleasure. It also carries a sense of understanding, acceptance and responsiveness.

    Heartfelt gratitude is the place where miracles happen. It creates joy for both the giver and the receiver, and it breaks down the barriers of resistance that keep us from creating lives of true fulfillment. Melody Beattie, author of Co-Dependent No More, states this eloquently:

    "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we  have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
    The best thing about heartfelt gratitude is that the more you practice it, the more it grows! And the more it grows, the more valuable you feel and the more valuable you become to yourself and to others.

    What a better time to practice gratitude than this Thanksgiving? If you are already up to the Heart Gratitude stage, can you turn that up a notch? Are you practicing heartfelt gratitude even when things don't go well, or when someone irritates or upsets you?

    If you are not quite up to the sincere appreciation stage yet, I encourage you to find at least one thing each day that you are truly grateful for. As you think of this person, place or event, indulge yourself in the good, positive, appreciative feelings that arise. Savor these. Remember them often as you go about your day. 

    You might also want to write down any affirming thoughts that come to you. And if you really want to move to the next level, send that person a note of appreciation, or share the memory with a friend or family member.

    What we focus on grows. The more we focus on what we appreciate, the more we'll have to appreciate!

    .... And it all starts with just two words - Thank You!



    Appreciate Anything

    Here's a fun exercise to try. It might come in handy during those hectic, sometimes tense family gatherings or those long road trips to grandma's house.

    • Look around you and find something to appreciate - even if it seems silly. Look at the room you're in and be happy you're not living in a mud hut with a dirt floor. Look at a lamp and appreciate Thomas Edison's creativity. Look at the car you're driving and be glad that it's faster than a horse drawn carriage.
    • Add a gratitude element while playing games with your children. For "I Spy" or "20 Questions," encourage whoever is "it" to tell why they are grateful for the object, or person, place or thing they chose for the game.
    • Make it a family or night time ritual for each person in the family to share one or two things they are grateful for that happened during the day.
    • Appreciate yourself for trying to practice gratitude. Appreciate others for sharing their appreciation with you.


    Time Out Tip

    If you find yourself in the middle of a bad attitude that you just can't shake, here is a short in-the-moment activity you can do. It can be as quick as two or three minutes, or can last as long as you wish.

    Breathe and Release

    • Inhale as much air as you can take into your lungs, then exhale as fast and hard as you can, mentally releasing whatever caused the upset. Do this two more times. 
    • Sit quietly with your eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply. With each in-breath say to yourself: "I now choose..." with each out-breath say "... peace." Do this for one minute, or as long as you have time. 
    • Think of one aspect of this person or situation that you can appreciate. If that is a stretch, think of something that you are willing to appreciate. Carry this thought with you the rest of the day.


    Partner Resource

    Letting someone know that you appreciate them is a great way to brighten someone's day - as well as your own. As you give, so you receive. Share some "warm fuzzies" with these wonderfully inspiring ecards from TUT

    While you're browsing, check out his "Notes from the Universe" too. Each daily inspirational message gives a freshingly different perspective on life. It's one of the daily motivational ezines that I can't wait to get to my computer and read each morning!

    Thoughts become things... choose the good ones!®
    © www.tut.com ®



    About Us

    Create a Happy 'Tude is published on the 24th of each month. It's purpose is to inspire and motivate it's readers to keep a happy, healthy, prosperous attitude by providing articles, exercises, tips and resources.

    Spiritual Coaching Center provides coaching and support to clients who are serious about living with passion and creating more fulfillment in their lives. If you are ready to stretch beyond your current limits and create a more authentic, happier life for yourself, send us an email

    New to coaching? Then try a FREE 30-minute Sample Session and see if it's a good fit for you. There's no obligation and you receive the full benefits of a coaching session. Plus, schedule a complementary session between now and December 31 and receive a free gift. Request a Sample Session.

    For information about our programs or for more inspirational resources, please visit our website.

    My personal mission is to tell the truth, to live with integrity, to be my real, authentic self, and to inspire others to do the same. If I can help bring a smile to someone's face, offer a different perspective, or inspire just one person to get a move on, then I will have taken one more step toward fulfilling my purpose in life.
    - Becky Waters, Life Coach


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